Living my talk...

"He will provide", "He's able", "He's faithful"...

I taught on these, I taught on His nature and characters (though am still learning), I taught on His faithfulness and etc yet I feel this topic is after me, challenging me, re-shaping me, nudging me to test if I'm truly believe what I've spoken/ taught. An inch of my understanding of who He is will not be moved yet to walk through this journey or more specifically this last week in Sabah does challenge me to hang on to His promises. At least SD 2550 ( minus 3 months food budgets, transportation and personal needs) need to be at sight before the 28th this month or before i leave to Singapore. Inside me began to ask 'why not somewhere cheaper?', 'How will this take place?'... I know He'll provide but my mind is boggling with 'when will this take place'? Will i leave Sabah with the needed finances? And if i through this 3 months, how will i through the next 6 months?
So...the verdict? Am I still believing that He's faithful or just the 'fleshly me' began to worry and take on fear? Do I know He CAN? Yes, I 100% sure and know but to be balance on this trust and unseen provision, I must say am a bit wavering.

LORD, I know You will provide. Let me have Your rest and assurance.

Facts about life.

Bits and pieces from Auntie Voonli's teaching on Identity:

10 areas that can't be changed.

1. Your parents.
2. Time and history: I'm created for this age/ time because I'm suppose to do something at this age. I'm put in this time of history and have a call.
3. Your race.
4. Your gender.
5. Birth order.
6. Siblings.
7. Aging: Every age brings special teachings and experiences to life. This is the season of life that will live me. Don't miss out what God has for me now.
8. Physical features.
9. Gifts and ability: Don't focus on what you don't have but find it, rejoice in it and use it. Grow in your identity and God will draw out more and use it.
10. National heritage.

Other good points:
- God can redeem everything that's dead and given to Him because that's the power of redemption.
- The work of redemption of God will work in you if you know how to offer it to God.

counting the blessings...

Haven't been able to have proper sleep lately maybe because the depth of me is terrifying of how to live in a foreign land for 9 months without fix income and rely only with the trust and knowledge that He'll provide. As i waken up each time with little prayer of 'God, you will have to provide', 'God, how will i through this?' and etc, i felt my inside crunched with nervousness and gripping unto His promises at the same time. I know He'll do it at His timing.

Despite of being in the stage of wondering and waiting, I felt challenged to list down the goodness of Him. These; are His proven goodness...
- Freedom that i can't earn, get or buy it from anywhere. Freedom that's beyond any prices.
- He sustained me; when i think i can't, He's there with me and guide me.
- Reconciled to Him; the ultimate forgiver, lover, friend and Freedom owner.
- Friends that want to be part of my life, walk with me through my ups and downs.
- Provision at the nick of time; haven't go without yet.
- Relationship with those around me that happened out of respect, love, acceptance, forgiveness, being myself...
- Shoes (which to get even a pair of big size shoes here in Sabah is a great pain)
- Hand phone (though it's 2nd hand but it's still in good condition, all i need to do is change the casing and i get to choose whatever color i want for it plus it comes with 2gb memory card. Yes...FOR FREE)
- Travel bag (need not to spend another 100++ bucks for a travel bag because someone lend it to me.)
- A new water bottle.
- Most important thing is...I've songs in my heart!!!

Hmm...at the same time, I've still praying for these:
- A digital camera..
- A laptop (preferably 11 inch laptop) - for works and traveling.
- Monthly supporters
- To grow deeper in Him.