F.E.A.R

FEAR: False Expectations Appearing Real

'Overcoming doubt' was what written on the church's bulletin today. 'A rather interesting topic today', I thought. As I was listening to the preacher, my mind was trying to re-collect what has been taking place recently, how I've responded, how I was fearful and allowed doubt taking place.

Absorbing and processing the words coming out from the mouth of the preacher, I'm challenged  to see that

fear means no love which leads to distrust/ doubt and manipulation.Ohh...how I've failed to see that His love has enable me to walk in freedom!!!Instead of walking in this path, I've chosen to walk in fear which causes me to doubt Him and allow manipulation to take place. If only I've seen the power of His love, how He'd freely given Himself simply because of His genuine love for me, how He trusted that I will run to Him when I know Him and simply because He has the full understanding of  what power does a true love hold - a love that's genuine not forceful. 
This; indeed a call to learn to love - a call to understand, to receive and to experience a love [Him] that is able to cast out all fear ~ and I want to learn to love His way.

The chains of love are stronger than the chains of fear.

Author: William Gurnall 

TRUST

TRUST: Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

This simple word persistently knocking at the door of my heart and thought. I've learned this and knew what it meant, I've offered such word to others and challenged them to embrace this, yet when I myself facing such moments, I find this word is to cliche and hard to be embraced. 

As I cried out to Him one day, asking Him 'Teach me to trust, how can I trust you when things don't happen as it should be?' I sensed His rhetorical question quieten me, 'What is my character?'. Ohh...so often I see things with my logical mind and own understanding! And subconsciously, I've let distrust taken place - distrust over men and God; how I've allowed fear to grow in me which led me to have a partial trust or not allowing Him to take the full control over my life, future and circumstances. This, perhaps is another season of walking such lesson again.

In the process of re-learning this lesson, I'm challenged by the hope and trust of a friend who just lost his wife, Paul perspective of what's worth much, Daniel's unshaken faith even in the midst of persecution and injustice, women and men that had run the race successfully and etc. Seeing their faith, how can I say He isn't worth to be trusted? Seeing their wholehearted devotion towards what's more eternal, how can I say He doesn't understand? Seeing how they endure pain and hardships, how can I say my situation is worst? Seeing how they continually worshiping Him, how can I say He isn't a promise keeper?

' For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a hope and a future.' Jer 29:11 

If this God that I've known and study is a God with a character that's unchangeable, steady, firm, unshaken, how can I who constantly changed, shaken, unsteady not to have trust in Him? And how can I accuse Him for not keeping His promise?  

I want to see you like Moses did, I want to linger at your presence like Joshua did, loving you like David loved you, trust you like Joseph and Daniel trusted you, passionate like Paul did, persevere like John did. I want to be more like you, may my heart, my trust, my hope, my future be of you. May my plans be yours, teach me, mold me, help me to love you all the more.

I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You Lord, more than words can say
I need You more, than ever before
I need You Lord
I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe
More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord, as time goes by, I will be by your side
Cause I never want to go back to my old life.