Feel like I'm going through another wilderness. It was few years ago that I went through a wilderness; as I can recalled, it was a time of discomfort, tears, heartache, regrets and etc. I'm in another one but going through it this time is rather different than the last one. I think as i'm growing or maturing, i begin to see and judge things differently. I remember a speaker talked 'bout 'Wilderness'; how many have gone through it in lives. I still remember vividly how he said the end product of this wilderness is either you'll come out 'better' or 'bitter'. I don't desire sowing bitterness in me, in my only life! I desire this process of life or this phase of life make, mold, bend me to come out better. Better/ growing in my trust for Him, better/ growing in my walk with Him, better/ growing in my love towards Him. I don't want to abandon Him in my search for the end of this wilderness experience but fully abandon myself for Him alone! Since He knows the best for me, why don't I trust Him? I know to trust something that i can't grasp or touch with my fingers seems ridiculous to many but this is what I've been wired to, to take up my cross. Run with Him. Cause I was made for abandon my heart and listen. Cause I was made for Someone greater, Someone bigger, so I want to follow Him. And I know I'll come alive when I learn to die, to trust Him instead.'