Who am I?

Character [ˈkærɪktə]n

* the combination of traits and qualities distinguishing the individual nature of a person or thing

One of our speaker asked this question to us 'Who are you?' and we (staff and students); with the best attempts came up with the best answers yet failed to gave him the right answer. His repeating question put us in such a stage of curiosity and i found myself thinking , 'This is a very simple question and why does he make it so complicated for us to answer?' ' I am Mary, daughter who and who and etc...' 'Aren't that enough to say who I am?'

'You are who you are, you're your character,' said him after a great silent in the class. Aah...why did i never think of this? Throughout my life time, I only understood that 'I am ' only with 'a name' little did i realized that 'my name' or the 'person-me' carries such characters that proved the reason why I'm called 'unique and wonderfully-made' because there is no one, no one in this whole wide world has the same character and uniqueness as me! Wow!!!

As I was pondering Isaiah 55 this morning, a thought of who am I and why I'm doing what I'm doing came to mind. Yes, why I'm doing this and why do I choose to live life of trust and who am I representing here? While contemplating this, a picture of someone/ employee ready in his uniform/ garments with his name tag on, standing firmly and proudly showing of who he is and for whom his working for, came to mind. He isn't afraid to show off his and the company's name.

I'm humbled or other words reprimanded by this analogy because i don't live like this!!! I'm a representative of the Almighty one and the greatest ever master yet i often find myself shy away or even take down my name tag! Why do i only let His name be known to those who are close to me, why do i hide my name or my Master's name from those who have not come to know Him? My Master is full of His characters and every way He goes, He carries His name/ characters. So...if i'm a representative of Him, that means I'm bringing/ showing His characters off just like any employee does (If they are proud of their company or their employer, they will always boast 'bout him/ her, right?). And if I'm proud of my Master, my Lover, my Father, my best friend...won't i boast of Him? Won't i stand firm and showing His name off proudly?

Ahh...I want to be Your representative of Your love, joy, peace...Your characters so others will know You by my works, love and heart! I'm desperately needing You Jesus!!

I Surrender ~ Kim Walker

Exodus 33:14-16

...(verses 15) Then he said to Him, "If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here. for now how then will it be known that Your people and I have found grace in your sight, except You go with us? so we shall be separate, Your people and I from all the people who are upon the face of the earth."

As i was reading it this morning, i was reminded by a real story from a Filipino lady that i met in Cambodia, i asked her whether she likes Cambodia and why chooses to serve in this land? She said for the first few months were really hard and kept begging God to let her home to Philippines, as she was praying one day asking the same question, she felt the LORD said 'You can go home but I stay here' and she went 'how can i go if you don't go with me?' As i was listening to her, am challenged to ask myself do i want His will, His heart, His voice and His leads too? i know things can be difficult especially if we're called to move out from our comfort zone but who are we serving, who do we love the most??? Can ours bring comfort, peace, love, joy and hope???

Just like the song by Kim Walker - 'Where You go i go, what you say i say, what you pray i pray.'

Where and who??
May we choose to live a life like Moses that desired Him more than anything.

Jesus Culture - Show Me Your Glory - Kim Walker Smith

I see the cloud
I step in I want to see Your glory as Moses did
Flashes of light, rolls of thunder

I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid

Show me Your glory
show me Your glory
Show me Your glory
show me Your glory

I’m awed by Your beauty
lost in Your eyes
I want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did
Your glory surrounds me and I’m overwhelmed

I long to look on the face of the One that I love
Long to stay; in Your presence is where I belong

Jesus Culture - You Are My Passion - Kim Walker-Smith

Love much!!!

Luke 7:37-48

...her sins, which are many are forgiven for she LOVED MUCH. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.

I want to love much!I don't want to live a life that carries baggage s throughout this journey of my life, i know i've called to live and i want to live in such a freedom 'till nothing able to hinder me to love; love not because they should be loved but love because they are qualify to have a taste of His love. Let me be like this woman in this passage, loving You not because knowing that she's a sinner but because knowing that she'll be known as a daughter that loved by You. How much love can i have is much i'm willing to let go and forgive. How much love did this woman receive was how much she's willing to let go and forgive. Ohh...just the heart of trusting and a heart of forgiving welcome so much love! Abundant love that caused this woman cease not to wipe Your feet with her tears and hair, an overflowing love that caused her to anoint You with fragrant oil. I want to love like she did not out of my duty/ task but out of the love of Yours that flow through me.
Father, i want You so i can love much!!!

Passion

Passion ¹

Definition: A suffering or enduring of imposed or inflicted pain; any suffering or distress (as, acardiac passion); specifically, the suffering of Christ between the time of the last supper and hisdeath, esp. in the garden upon the cross.
Definition: intense passion or emotion
Definition: The state of the mind when it is powerfully acted upon and influenced bysomething external to itself; the state of any particular faculty which, under such conditions, becomes extremely sensitive or uncontrollably excited; any emotion or sentiment (specifically,love or anger) in a state of abnormal or controlling activity; an extreme or inordinate desire; also,the capacity or susceptibility of being so affected; as, to be in a passion; the passions of love, hate,jealously, wrath, ambition, avarice, fear, etc.; a passion for war, or for drink; an orator should have passion as well asrhetorical skill.
Definition: To suffer pain or sorrow; to experience apassion; to be extremely agitated.
Definition: an irrational but irresistible motive for a beliefor action

Passion: There are just so many meaning to this word. Few letters that been put together to create such a word, which it carries a great meaning that many of us never really look into it.
I remembered one of the speaker talked 'bout this and mentioned 'passion means something you're willing to die for' and i felt so uncomfortable hearing this words. Saying to myself 'Why should i be so passionate 'bout what i believe? Can't i just enjoy the easy and comfortable part? Can't i just share with those who have known the truth? Why should i go beyond my comfort zone, making friends with others and sharing 'bout Him? There are still many that are able to do my part, why can't i just share with my own circle of friends? why and why...?' This is a word i wouldn't dare to touch for many years until Father reminded me again.
Yes, what's my passion? what is something I'm willing to die/ give for? What is the thing that make me able to say 'more of You and less of me?' Why do i want to live a mediocre life if You- the great You live in me? Why have i been so selfish and not knowing that others too can taste/ have a bit of Your joy, goodness, faithfulness etc if i share bit of Your heart? I heard so many stories 'bout Your goodness/ greatness and i know my heart just couldn't contain them! You said 'it's not a waste' when the woman broke the expensive perfume and poured it on Your, You said 'it's not a waste' when You bend down and touched the sick, You said 'it's not a waste' when my friends chose to live in unfamiliar places and cultures, You said 'it's not a waste' when You died on the cross, You said 'It's worth a lot!'
Father, I'm speechless when i think 'bout Your passion, when i think 'bout You giving all just to reach me. I want my life to be waste for You! I want to have a life that mark with a passion for You!!